weds-day: the shoe saga

Bridal shoes - I shake my fist at you! The short story is: I have my wedding shoes. The long story is: I also have a backup pair and am constantly looking for other options. Never in my life did I imagine I would have such a time finding a pair of shoes.

I have never wanted to be a bride in any expected or uber-traditional sense. I've said for years I wouldn't wear white shoes (I won't be able to wear them again!), and I have stuck with that in my hunt for the perfect pair. I figured I would do nude, or black, till a friend politely pointed out that black may completely take away from my dress. You know I don't like the idea of forcing pieces to match, so this suggestion sort of stopped me in my tracks. Ever since then, I've been stumped. I have probably purchased and returned 10 pairs of shoes by now, each time proclaiming, when the box arrived, "I found my wedding shoes!" only to swiftly return them and resume scratching my head.

Dolce and Gabbana

Jimmy Choo

Laurence Dacade

Christian Dior (in silver)

"None of these are it, none of them. At all." (watch the whole thing but 1:00 is the best!)

And there are probably 2 dozen others I tried on in store that were almost-but-not-quite options. Ultimately, I decided on a pair of shoes by this designer (Raven don't click that!), and also have a pair that are a one-two punch in terms of awesomeness on standby. There exist a pair, however, that are so elusive, so hard to find, that even my exhaustive Google searches and calls to the manufacturer cannot track them down. They are perfect, and they may never be mine.

And that is okay! During this search I have at times wondered if I'm not doing exactly what I set out to avoid when searching for my wedding dress. I have an inkling that somehow any shoe will never be enough, but that whatever shoe I wear will be perfect, and that is a nice, comforting feeling. I would love to know what shoes you're wearing for your wedding! Drop me a line and let me know!

xoxo,

weds-day: i am not wearing these wedding dresses

A quick tour of my good friend DropBox the other day reminded me that I have loads of pictures of me in wedding dresses that I haven't shared with anyone. Aside from the fact that the dresses are just so beautiful and I need other eyeballs to witness them, I'm hoping that you all can get a sense of how a seamless bridal appointment can lead you to selecting your wedding dress. Choosing a dress can be kind of daunting, but with the right preparation, close friends, and stylist, it can come together easily. Here's a little disclaimer: I don't remember who most of these dresses are by. However, my stylist at Kleinfeld, Ellie, definitely will, so if you're going there, bring in the picture and she'll hook you up.

When Ellie and I chatted about what I wanted, I told her that my main criteria was long sleeves. Aside from that, I didn't have a crystal clear vision. With that in mind, we began trying on...

Okay so I know this dress is by Rivini. It's exceptional, it just didn't feel like me. A little too, country or something? On to the next...

This dress was a legit contender for me. I never would have picked something like this out for myself, but I just felt so good in it!

Hashtag she's feeling herself. Ultimately, though, it felt too specific. Winter fairy queen. I loved it, I loved how I felt, but we needed to move on.

Such a cool dress...just not for me. Tits on toast though, no?

At this point, Ellie and I pow-wowed. We were moving in the wrong direction. I hate the word glam, but we needed to move away from country lace and move towards something a little more sleek. Does that make sense? Ellie, magical goddess that she is, hooked me up.

Right?

This dress is unreal! The reason we didn't chose it, though, was because of the beading; the dress had crystals, and was just a bit too fancy.

The top of this dress is everything. Perfect. The skirt was a little unflattering, so again, we moved on...to my wedding dress. Which I can't show you. But, before I pulled the trigger on it, we tried on one more for comparison.

She's so pretty. But as my sister in law said, "The other dress gave you sparkly eyes."

So I put it back on and pranced around and giggled and that was that.

If I can give you one piece of advice about selecting your dress, it's that you should go in guns blazing, ready to make a decision. I could have spent the entire day trying on dresses at Kleinfeld and then gone home empty-handed (and then have appointments with every other bridal boutique I could get my hands on). The process could have gone on for months. I decided before my appointment, though, that I would find my dress that day, and I think I made my life easier in doing so.

Let's summarize.

1. Go in with purpose.

2. Bring honest loved ones (Thank you Mommy, Meg, Gill and Emily!).

3. Trust your stylist.

Hope this is helpful / at the very least you enjoyed looking at pictures of me looking at myself in the mirror!

xoxo,

all photos by my friend Emily Karpin!

weds-day: make it personal

I've been compiling the gifts for my bridesmaids for months now. When I got to the 3rd monogram-able item, I had to have a little chat with myself. Self, I said, slow your roll with the monograms. No one, save yourself maybe, wants to look at their name that many times. Long story short, I'm scaling back. But I do think folks do want to see their name a lot, especially on pretty things. Whether it be sparkly undies or a bougie candle, I will never tire of personalization.

Here's my definitive list:

Luggage Tag, $48

Tom's Canvas Slip On, $58

Leather Sticker, $55 // I wore mine here

Leather Pouch, $85

Crystal Undies, $45+

Catbird Silver Locket, $58+

J. Crew striped tee, $49.50

Personalized Wine, prices vary

Phone Case, $59

Le Labo Candle, $70

I don't know about you - but I want to order one of everything from that list for all the people I love. Bridesmaids, you have been warned: things will get personal(ized).

xoxo,

weds-day: suit and tie

Hello, strangers! I needed that little break, and I'm happy to be back here workin for you today. For as long as I've known about the existence of after parties, I've known that I won't do my wedding dress like that - I will stick it out and wear that beautiful gown until, fumbling with drunkenness, Raven peels me out of it so that we can consummate the heck outta our marriage. However! As of late, I cannot resist entertaining the opportunity for an epic outfit change. Hear me out.

Since we're getting married in Litchfield Butthole, CT, where people go to bed with the sun, our reception is finished, lights out, see ya later, at 1opm. The old lady in me is nodding her head in approval, like this:

But the New Yorker in me is all:

So, it is just our luck that our venue allows for an after party in the hotel bar until 2am!

Excited at the prospect of continuing to imbibe and celebrate with friends for 4 more hours, I have been thinking lately that I'll want to do so with incredible ease, comfort, and style. Enter the tuxedo. (click to shop)

I love the idea of a little dress or jumpsuit, but there's something so baller about an actual tuxedo, like the last example here (which isn't available in my size), that thrills me. So far I haven't found quite the right option, but I'm on the hunt.

I'd also love to hear what you wore for the afterparty at your wedding - drop some knowledge on me!

xoxo,

weds-day: wedding white, 2.0

I've done a lot of perusing for the various outfits I'm going to wear during our wedding weekend. Since I am a crazy person, I already have my bridal shower and rehearsal dinner dress picked out. So you'd think, she's done, right? Well here's my running list: bachelorette

bridal shower

rehearsal dinner

getting ready

after party

brunch

SO many opportunities to wear something amazing, and while white is awesome and I'm excited to wear it (or something like it) for our actual wedding, I'm not going to waste it on the other festivities. Here's what I'm thinking for your bridal shower:

Aqua

Cynthia Steffe

Cynthia Rowley

I like the idea that traditionally, a bridal shower is a luncheon, so perhaps we want to be a bit more demure, which is why I'm envisioning pastel. But that doesn't mean that we have to go all uppity and change our entire style:

// dress // pumps // earrings // ring //

Use your dress as a jumping off point, and don't let the rest of the outfit get too literal or matchy matchy. I isolate the colors found in the print of the dress, and bring them out in the accessories. Pale blue in the shoes, gold in the ring, and look! Earrings with almost every color from the print. Nothing matches, everything coordinates, we're a tiny bit preppy, but still ourselves. You feel me?

xoxo,