don't be seduced by the sale

Good morning, friends! It has been a seriously busy week around here, and I've been itching to get back to blogging. First of all, thank you so much for all your love and support surrounding the new site! I'm so pumped about it and it seems to be getting a great reception and for that I thank you!

Sale shopping. Oof. If you're anything like me, you feel a little bit of panic when you see an email from your favorite retailer announcing a sale. Especially this time of year, when money has been blown on the holidays, it can sometimes be stressful to learn about a sale. For me, it's partly because I need to look; sales are so seductive! If there's one thing I've learned over the years, though, it's that shopping a sale takes a little pre-planning. Otherwise you end up with a size XL silk shirt that you have no idea what to do with but can't return because it was final sale (yup, I did that). Here are some tips on how to thoughtfully and carefully shop a sale :: 

1. Only shop sales at your favorite retailers :: Wait, what? Hear me out. When you consider worst case scenarios like above (blindly shopping a sale and then regretting your purchase), you need to filter out temptation. So, start with what you know, right? Stores that you visit on the regular, because you know what size you take there, you know their return and exchange policy, and most importantly, you're familiar with their inventory. This leads me to number 2...

2. Make a wish list :: This is key, especially for retailers that only have a couple sales a year. You get the sale email, heart starts pounding, and you need to look at everything, yes? Well, no. If we stick to rule number one, and this is one of your favorite shops, go straight for your wish list. If you're not familiar with this feature, get into it. Sites will let you quickly bookmark your favorite pieces (and input your size and the color you want) so you can reference the pieces whenever: like during a sale. So, you get that sale email, you click through, and immediately go to your wish list. Boom, that blazer you've been after all season (remember, you know the store's inventory) is 40% off. Damn, you so fresh.

3. Filter sale by size :: Okay so number 2 is all well and fine, but sometimes, you go through your beloved wish list and nothing is on sale. You could just click hit that little red X at the top left of your browser, but what's the fun in that? So, be kind to yourself and filter out the sale. Filter by size, or filter by item (say you really want to scope out shoes for work), that way the volume of the sale isn't quite so overwhelming. 

4. Double check :: This is always key, especially if you're buying a big ticket item. Before you go through with your purchase, copy the item name and paste it into your browser. A 2-second task that has saved me hundreds of dollars over the years. Just because something is on sale, doesn't mean you can't still pay less for it somewhere else, right? Google will let you know immediately if your item is less expensive elsewhere  (a department store, Amazon, etc).

5. Wait (if you can) ::  I definitely have a penchant for manically swooping through a sale and hitting purchase after about 90 seconds of searching. Sure, sale items move quickly, especially coveted pieces, and if you've made it through the first 4 steps here, you're probably good to go with your purchase. Sometimes, though, we need to think it through. Ask yourself why you're buying the item. Ask yourself how you'll wear the item (the rule of thumb is 3 different ways or you need to check yourself). Get up, get some water, take a pee break, I'm not kidding. Text your sister and see what she thinks (this is what I do). I'd say about half the time, if you give your brain a second to get past the high of I'M BUYING SOMETHING, you'll realize that you don't really need it in the first place. 

Thoughts, questions, comments? Have a wonderful Thursday!

xoxo,

aok

little red book :: wardrobe staples

Hi friends! I've been thinking for a while now about compiling all of my favorite things into a blog post for you all. Personally, I love referrals and recommendations for new brands, products, and experiences, so I thought it would be fun, interesting and hopefully helpful for me to lay out my favorites in one spot - a little black book, if you will. I'm a Scorpio, which means I'm brand loyal almost to a fault, so hopefully these recs will be taken seriously and trusted by all you wonderful people. Let's start by dissecting my closet; here are my wardrobe staples.

Underwear ::

For everyday - Hanky Panky. Nothing is more comfy or guarantees no panty lines.

Full coverage - Gap. As a New Yorker, you gotta have full butt coverage when wearing a skirt. My favorites are these bikinis and this seamless pair.

During Period - Thinx. They really work. No more ruining your favorite undies!

Bras :: 

You can read more about my favorites here, but I'm going to add Yasmin Joseph's non-wire bra here as well. Wears like a t-shirt bra but has enough structure that your boobies feel supported and loved. It's all I've worn now for months.

Socks :: 

For Everyday - J. Crew makes my favorite socks for looks, comfort, and durability. Wait for a sale, though (like right now, 40% off with code SHOPNOW)!

For Ski and Snow - Smart Wool all the way! These babies revolutionized my winter experience.

Jeans ::

Forever - Current / Elliot 'The Stiletto'. I thought I was a tried and true Rag & Bone wearer, and I do think their jeans are incredible, but Current / Elliot fits me the best because of this high waisted, cropped pair(as I mentioned yesterday on Insta).

Tees :: 

Current / Elliot

Alexander Wang

Both of these brands wear incredibly well and last! Cost per wear, guys. Cost per wear.

Silk shirt :: 

Equipment

Dress Shirt (I wore this on my wedding day!)

Button down :: 

Frame Denim (size down if you can)

Sweaters :: 

J Crew (wait for end of season sale!)

Aqua cashmere (again, sale)

Leather Jacket ::

Blank Denim (it's vegan!! and affordable!)

Rain coat :: 

Barbour (wait for Nordstrom's semi-annual sale)

Winter Coat ::

Mackage - Beautifully made, unique yet classic

Puffy Coat :: 

Canada Goose - It really is  that warm with a lifetime guarantee

Flats :: 

For Everyday - Tieks. My photog friends taught me that these are comfortable even after a 12 hour day.

Little Fancy - Repetto.

Boots ::

Over the knee - Stuart Weitzman 50/50. These are so comfortable and they've been around for something like 40 years now.

Booties - Rag & Bone. They have so many styles now and their shoes last!

Sneakers :: 

Nike Air Max. They're so comfortable and yet they look sexy with jeans or a dress. Pssst, they sell out quick.

Exercise :: 

Adidas by Stella McCartney. I've never wanted to wear a workout shirt, out, until now.

Round one, done!

Am I missing anything??

xoxo,

I've used some affiliate links in this post. It's how I make money, truly. Thank you guys for your support!

photo by Ashley Caroline.

gift guide :: stocking stuffers

Good morning to you! Thanks for all the love on yesterday's post, good to know others are as excited about random dancing throughout Europe as we are! One of my favorite parts of Christmas is opening my stocking. Okay, so, Raven and I don't have any yet, and we need to get on that; my Mom has my childhood stocking and hangs it from our mantel every year. I'll never forget the feeling of coming downstairs on Christmas morning and seeing it there, filled to the brim. Combine that with my love for tchotchkes and tiny things, stockings are just my jam.

I'm always on the hunt for new products, and this year, planning a wedding, I tried a bunch of new brands. So, here's my stocking stuffer list with some of my favorite products:

Tangle Teezer Brush

Despite its unfortunate name, this brush really is incredible. I use it after I shower to detangle, and then midway through the week so redistribute all the oil my hair has been holding onto. Gotta love the price tag, too.

Silk Pillowcase

Laugh all you want, I will never spend another night without this GEM of a product. Silk pillowcases are touted to smooth wrinkles and absorb oils from unwashed hair. I also feel really special laying my face on this baby every night.

Bougie Blister Covers

I read about these magical bandages months ago and immediately ordered them for my Bridal clients. Okay, and I ordered some for myself, too. You can't find them in the US yet (to my knowledge), so I stocked up at the farmacia when we were on our Honeymoon. Basically, these go on and act as a second skin and only fall off when your boo-boo has healed.

Facial Mist

Always on the lookout for awesome, organic + cruelty-free products, I gave True Botanicals a try and am obsessed with their Pacific mist. I have no idea what it does, truly, but my skin has never looked better. I use the mist after I shower and before bed. There's also a travel sized version if you really want something stocking-sized!

Crack Snack

These are that good and that addicting. I'm only allowed to buy them as a very special treat. There are loads of other flavors, too, but this one reigns supreme for me.

Thoughts? What am I missing? Tell me your secretssssss...

xoxo,

on style, risks, boundaries, and restrictions

One of the most common phrases I hear when I'm working with clients is:

I never wear (insert type of clothing here) but I feel like I should.

It's curious to me why we think that dressing a certain way is something we should do, implying that if we don't, we're wrong or bad. I know, I'm getting a little philosophical, but it's true: we impose certain boundaries and restrictions on ourselves when getting dressed (and in life, amiright?).

One of the things I've been working on for years (and still continue to think about) is defining my style. Don't get me wrong, I know my style pretty well, but I occasionally find my subconscious imposing these restrictions, and I always wonder why.

Here's what:

1. We're inspired :: Okay, so, one of the biggest reasons we feel the pull to shake things up in our wardrobe is because we're inspired. What a beautiful thing! Just like anything, the way we dress is a (wonderful!) lifelong process. We can't be expected to wake up one day and say Yup! I'm done, I know my style and it will never evolve. Being curious about new ways to express ourselves sartorially should always be heralded and encouraged. For me, inspiration almost always comes from the streets of New York. I'm not trying to be cheesy, I mean this very literally; friends, colleagues, strangers and the like are constantly inspiring me with the things they put on their back.
2. We're self-conscious :: This is sad but true and probably obvious to everyone. Sometimes we feel the need to fit ourselves into a mold so we buy a bunch of clothes we think will achieve that. We know before we even get to the register (somewhere, deep down) that we can't force ourselves to completely change who we are, but we do it anyway. What we're left with is a hole in our wallet and less space in our closet.

Here's who I am :: I'm a stylist who wears black jeans and sneakers almost every day of her life. Do I struggle with this because I sometimes feel like I "should" be wearing dresses and heels? You bet! Just yesterday I texted my sister complaining that I feel like I need "fancier" clothes in my wardrobe. I don't, though. The truth is, if I'm not wearing the sneakers, I'm wearing nice boots which are just fine for a nighttime situation or working a wedding. But I'm only rarely (read: when the mood strikes me) wearing a skirt or dress and heels. Maybe that will change in the next few years, maybe it won't, but I can't force it. Forcing change is just going to choke the creative process, which is just silly and sad.

So, how to we prevent the self-conscious spiral from happening, and encourage this inspired state of mind?

1. Identify the expectations you're setting for yourself when getting dressed. Do you actually want to wear xyz item? Or do you just think that you should?
2. Find those "should" pieces in your closet and remove them. Get them ready to sell or donate. Make some much needed space in your closet.
3. What sorts of trend or patterns do you see in your wardrobe? Do you love to wear oversized sweaters? The color blue? Whatever it is, make a note of it, then:
4. Consider the things that inspire you. Leather jacket? Nude lipstick? Stilettos? Who did you see wearing them? What did you like about their style, or the way they carried themselves?
5. Do you already own the inspirational item in question (or something like it)? How can you work it into your wardrobe to see how it makes you feel?
6. If you don't own the piece in question, consider this: how would it make you feel to own it? Do you want it? Does it inform your existing style uniform (for me, remember, black jeans and sneakers) or is it a "should" item?

Guys, I'm still figuring out step 7. I don't want to tell you guys to just go out and buy something because you think it inspires you. That's not what I'm trying to do here. I'm trying to get some awareness brewing in our minds, because it is so easy to mindlessly get dressed in the morning, but it is also so easy to inspire yourself and others with what you put on your back.

I will say this, though, and I bet you knew it was coming. Take risks, experiment, and don't (please!) say things like "I could never pull that off." Give yourself some credit. Be gentle with yourself.

And that's all I got for you today!

xoxo,

photo by Ashley Caroline.

gift guide :: fellas

Happy December (wtf)!! Most of the penises on my list are pretty hard to shop for. My ladies, I have down, it's the guys who trip me up. Here's where my head is at this Christmas...fellas, correct me if I'm wrong!

Travel Kit ::

This is a fancy word for "here's where my dirty clothes go." Whenever Raven and I travel, he likes to keep his dirty clothes away from his clean ones (makes sense and thank you, husband). We're usually hunting around for a plastic bag in the hotel, but this kit is awesome. You could pre-pack your items in the included pouches and then keep dirty items separate for the trip.

Toiletry Bag ::

This was part of Raven's wedding present from me. Again, he never has anywhere to store all his lotions and potions when we go away, and you kind of can't get better than leather and monogrammed.

Teeling Whiskey ::

For any whiskey lover on your list, this is a must. I purchased this for Raven a couple years ago when I went to Ireland, and it's still his favorite by far. It's starting to make it's way to the US, and we even found a bottle in the Zurich airport duty-free shop!

Mall Mounted Bottle Opener ::

We got this as a wedding present and it is worth it's weight in gold! Aside from being pretty to look at, there's a magnet underneath the wood, so that every time you open a bottle, the cap flies down and attaches itself to the magnet. Talk about easy drankin.

Good Gloves ::

Another item Raven alwasys needs. Good tech gloves that actually keep you warm. He likes gloves, not mittens, and somewhere in between thick and aerodynamic. These please me.

Boxers ::

I did some recon before writing this post, and a good friend of mine requested good, easy on the eyes undies. I think I found a winner! Tommy John offers 2 styles; second skin (self explanatory) and cool (moisture wicking). They come in a range of colors, prints, and lengths. Their selling point is a no-budge pair of briefs that stay put so you're not...digging for gold in there when things go awry. AND! They just spent the month of November donating a portion of their sales to the Testicular Research Foundation to help raise awareness for testicular cancer. Just a quick fact: 1 male is diagnosed with testicular cancer every hour. It's the most easily detected form of cancer, and has the highest survival rate when caught early. Hey, thanks Tommy John!

Slippers ::

A snuggly, highly rated, affordable, vegan pair of slippers. Raven, surprise surprise this is your Xmas gift!

See you all tomorrow for Weds-day!

xoxo,