weekend advice: spill the beans

Maybe it's the moon, maybe it's my period...maybe it's both? But I have been a weird ball of emotions the past couple of days. Last night at The Brass Owl was so much fun and I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to have a conversation with women about style. I cannot tell you how much I had to pinch myself. That this is my job is so unbelievably exciting and rewarding. Thank you to all who came out!

I am also excited and honored to be spending the weekend celebrating one of my dearest friends, Carolyn, for her Bachelorette Party! I won't go into details about what we're doing because she reads the blog (hey girlllll!), but I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with great friends. 

My weekend advice to you? Tell someone how you feel about them. Better yet, tell multiple people! Like I said, ball of emotions over here, but it occurred to me last night just how fantastic it feels to lay out my feelings to someone I love. So, I'm gonna try to do that as much as I can this weekend. Whatever you guys are up to, I hope it's amazing! Favorite links below: 

Breathtaking Prince tribute. *

Beautiful jewelry.

To make you smile. 

Just ordered this top and am so excited to see if / how it works!

Quick-fix for an underripe avocado.

Cruelty free perfume guide (bookmarked the shit outta this).

This campaign makes me want to skip eyeshadow and go bold with liquid liner.

AHHH did you see The Girl on The Train trailer? Looks SO good (love Emily Blunt).

And that's all I've got for you today.

xoxo,

aok

* The best Purple Rain cover is by my nephew Elliot, and were it not out of respect for his privacy, I would make the video go viral so hard. 

the disconnect between what we consume + what we wear

I've had this idea mulling around in my head for a while and today I finally have the time to sit down and just chat with you guys! First off, Hi, how are you, it's hump day! 

Real quick - tomorrow I'm giving a workshop on Spring Trends at The Brass Owl in Astoria. I would love love love to see you there - 8-10pm, wine and cheese will be served! Here's the Facebook invite.

Okay so we've chatted before about how we see something (a person, a window display, a pin, a piece) we love and often try to mimic it / capture its essence and somehow it doesn't work...we fall short. We "don't know how" to "be fashionable" which, if you read this post, I argue is just our way of saying we haven't really defined our style yet. 

A few weeks ago, I saw a girl commuting in the subway. She had on an unremarkable outfit, but slung over her shoulder was this bright pink, boxy, Kate Spade bag. I looked at her and I had two thoughts at the same time:

1. That doesn't work. And,
2. I've been that girl before.

The problem here wasn't that the bag was ugly (it wasn't) or that the girl had bad style (she didn't). The problem was that the entire situation was just inauthentic. It felt like a big question mark. That bag is advertised being carried on the arm of a woman who always wear skirts and heels, and it works that way. It doesn't function being worn across the body of a commuter who needs functionality in her bag (as well as structure, color, personality, status).

And that's a shame. It made me realize that there is a gap between what we see (and love!) and what and how we wear what we wear.

It happens to me, still, all the time. I'll be shopping and I'll get this lofty idea about who I should be, and I just, get away from myself. This sounds SO hippie dippy and dramatic but I promise you it's true:

If you align your wardrobe with your true personality, you'll always have something to wear.

This starts not when we're looking in our closet each morning, but long before that, before we even begin to consider pieces we may want to add to our wardrobe. Before we go shopping. 

For me, I trip up when I'm tired. I have a pretty good sense (getting there!) of my style, so a lot of my pieces are already true to me. But sometimes I'm tired and I throw something on and before I can even get out the door, I stop myself because something doesn't feel right. If I'm not dressing according to my personality, I just feel off. I'm trying to take the guess work out of my day and in turn it just messes up the entire foundation of my day. 

You can see how someone who may just want to feel good about what she's wearing would walk into a store, see a pink handbag and go That's me. She's trying to take the guesswork out of figuring out what she truly needs in a bag - comfort, ease, color - and is just blindly reaching for something because she "likes" it. 

This isn't to say that if you like something, you shouldn't own it - that idea in and of itself sends shivers down my spine - but again, if we know ourselves, we can close that gap between seeing and wearing and only own pieces that serve us as human beings.

For me, that means seeing these:

And knowing that I'll only get one good wear out of them. But these:

They serve me way better because they're a neutral color, they hold in my foot (this is New York, mules need only apply if you're taking a car service), and I can wear them to any / all of my events.

How are we doing? Does this make sense? Get at me because this stuff revs my engine.

If you haven't filled out my (free!) worksheet to define your style, I highly encourage you to subscribe to my email list (at the bottom of this page) and give it a whirl. AND! I'll be going over the entire process tomorrow at The Brass Owl so come on out!

[pssst - to that girl on the subway: I've compiled a bunch of pink handbags that would suit you nicely, below!]

xoxo,

aok

weekend advice: love your body

Hello gorgeous friends! That's a weighty title, huh? Thinking back on my week, I can think of at least 3 conversations I had with different (incredible, smart, talented) women about their / our bodies. It's so interesting to me that as women, we tend to ignore all the wonderful things about ourselves and our bodies in favor of turning up the volume on any criticism. A few years ago, a woman told me I had fat thighs. Those were her actual words. I've done a lot of work deconstructing that particular exchange (I was also very not nice to her), and to be honest, I've done a pretty good job denying and pushing down my feelings about it, too. But, every now and again, in front of the mirror, the only body part I see are my thighs. And that's just sad. Because I have so much to offer the world that isn't contained in my body. 

My weekend advice? Take hold of any moment in which you feel particularly jazzed about your body / your outfit / your skillz and hang on for as long as you can. Wear a new outfit, have sex, work out...and try to just feel good. I will try to do the same! And if you're not feeling your best today? I got you, girl. You're gorgeous and you're inspiring. 

And here are a few favorite links of the week:

Speaking of incredible women, look what I got to be a part of!

I felt relieved and vindicated reading this post about chemicals in food.

How sweet are these mules for in-between pedicures (or just always)?

Next Thursday, The Brass Owl! Spring Trends, Defining your style, and probably body issues, too, let's be serious.

My skin is the driest ever (I had a facial once and the aesthetician said my skin is really thirsty HA!)...and this really, truly works.

This is bullshit, freckles are magical.

To make you smile (seriously, try not to smile).

And that's all I've got for you today, gorgeous.

xoxo,

aok

aok at the brass owl + d'orsay flats

Oh hi there, folks!

Is this sun making you feel ALIVE? Because it's making me feel alive. If you peeped my Instagram and my Snapchat (allisonboc) over the weekend, you'd know that I had an absolute blast at Toasted Wedding Event! I met tons of lovely brides-to-be (and some grooms, too), and absolutely loved meeting my fellow, incredibly talented vendors. Thanks to everyone who came out!

Also! I wanted to gently remind you that next Thursday, April 21st, I'm giving a talk on Spring trends at The Brass Owl in Astoria! We're going to chat getting dressed this Spring / Summer, and then we're going to chat defining your personal style. I'm so excited and I really hope to see you guys there! 8-10pm, Thursday April 21st! 

And before I leave you all today, a quick note: I got a few comments on this Instagram about the shoes. They're Jenni Kayne, ridiculously expensive (they were the first D'Orsay flat I remember seeing, maybe 5 years ago?) and they're not comfy. Sad face. BUT! There are so many iterations available now! Here's one, two, and three that I love!

And that's all I've got for you today.

xoxo,

aok

weekend advice: come to brooklyn!

Happy Friday to YOU! Sorry to have been completely MIA all week - truthfully, I just could not get my shit together enough to write a post. But I wanted to stop in and deliver some links your way, as well as some advice for the weekend! I've mentioned this a few times already, but I'm so excited to be participating in this weekend's Toasted Wedding Event at The Warsaw in Brooklyn! So, my weekend advice to you? Come out to Brooklyn! This event is going to be so much fun, and I'm so excited to connect with brides to be, fiancées to be, and other wedding vendors. I'll be sure to Instagram and Snapchat (allisonboc) the day away, so feel free to follow along. Also, I was planning on giving away a couple of tickets - so please email me if you'd like to come (for free!). Hope you have a fantastic weekend, below are my favorite links of the week:

These Madewell jeans for summer. Perfection!

We've slowly buy surely been swapping out Ikea for "real" furniture, and this blog is not helping the situation.

Remember this style philosophy post? Found the article Kendra was referring to!

Obsessed with finding the perfect comfy undies, and am thinking of giving these a try.

Jeffrey Campbell is killing it with Chanel look alikes, Gucci look alikes, and Martiniano look alikes!

To make you smile.

And that's all I've got for you today. Hope to see you Sunday! 

xoxo,

aok