your (six hour) thanksgiving roadtrip playlist

Road trips. Airplanes. Mass transit. Rental cars. Yep, you heard right - it’s officially the holiday season. Craig and I live equidistant between Massachusetts (his family) and Pennsylvania (my family), so we’ve got a solid three to four hour trip each time we want some pumpkin pie and mommy hugs.

It’s always the first and most important question of the trip: what should we listen to? So here, I’ve compiled six hours of what I think is a great playlist for the road, and given you a few guidelines for how these songs should be enjoyed. Feel free to follow me on Spotify, put this bad boy on shuffle, and before you know it, your mom will be mixing you a holiday cocktail and stuffing you with turkey.

For your first few miles...

For a good story...

For getting all sentimental...

For when you want to feel like a badass...

For your pop singalong pleasure...

For the throwback...

For the cheesy songs you don’t want to admit to loving...

For when you are getting punchy...

For sitting back and enjoying the ride...

What's on your playlist? What did I miss? What's a song I NEED to hear?

growing up

Today is my 29th birthday. I can't really say I'm "in my 20s" anymore, and thank god I have another year to get used to saying I'm in my 30s. So where do I belong? I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. I pay my own bills, but my dad still palms me a $50 every time I go home. I feel like I'm stuck in a transition and it has me wanting to get in where I fit in.

I've wanted to go to Ireland ever since I was a little girl. I've always felt so proud of being Irish; even if I knew next to nothing about where I came from, it made me feel secure to be able to identify and place myself.

This trip for me, on the eve of my birthday, has been almost overwhelming. On the flight over when the plane broke through the clouds, my eyes filled with tears. I imagined the people who came before me, people who are my family, living here. Falling in love here. Having babies who had babies who had babies who had me and my brother and my sister. It's the sweetest, deepest connection, so beautiful to me that I almost don't want to think about it.

Being here is like having a word on the tip of my tongue. It's a haunting, near-knowing that I feel in my bones. I feel settled here, sunken and cozy and correct.

The other evening, my mom and I went to the pub to get a pint. There was a man playing Irish music, and we laughed at his jokes, sang along when we could and when he played Danny Boy, I bit my cheek and thought how much shit my friends would give me if they saw me crying.

It's just that, you never think about where you come from until you decide to. And when you do, it's like opening the floodgates on your little heart. You think about the man and woman who chose a different life for themselves and said goodbye to their families knowing full well they would never see them again. Sure, I don't know the details of their journey, but I know their names were Patrick and Mary and that's enough.

Enough to imagine that I might have her nose. His legs. Her laugh or his stubbornness. Or none of that. And still I feel stronger just being able to imagine it.

Back at the pub, I settled up with the bartender, and when I gave him his tip, he looked me straight in the eyes (as all Irish people do - it's really lovely) and smiled.

"Cheers love," he said. "See you again ."

all photos by allie for LRW

being alone in new york city

“There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something...Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion.”  - E.B. White

I walked down 59th Street, just below the park. I wore big, clunky, black shoes, tuxedo pants, a faded white t-shirt and various layers of huddled warmth because it was one of those blisteringly cold days and I was coming home from a catering job. It was February of 2008. Literally and metaphorically, I was in the dead of winter.

“One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years.” Tom Wolfe

But something happened to me as I walked. I looked up and felt embraced - by the trees, the buildings, even the strangers that passed by without even glancing in my direction. I had no shows coming up, hell, no auditions coming up. It was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t dating anyone. I had very little money in the bank, I might have even asked my parents for a hundred bucks for groceries that month. For all intents and purposes, I should have been upset. But I wasn’t.

I had this exact thought:

“I’m in New York City. All my life I wanted to be here, and now I’m here. And no, not everything is exactly how I want it to be. I want a show. I don’t want to cater anymore. But in this moment, I’m okay. It’s okay. I’m happy.”

There was something about my complete and utter loneliness in that moment that was capsized by the city. I was alone, but I was in flow. The city had swallowed me whole and made me part of it. So much so that my loneliness became thoughtful solitude, my anxiety became unfettered calm. I truly believed that if anything of significance was going to happen to me, it would be here. And that thought made me feel more alive and more embraced than any previous job or relationship I had ever had.

I know it’s a little presumptuous to talk about being alone in New York from a married woman’s point of view. How alone could I actually be? But I think there’s this delicate and isolated part of every New Yorker’s heart that needs to be a little bit alone. Even though I have someone to come home to, I’ve never stopped collecting these tiny moments of loneliness to keep my New Yorker heart in tact.

It’s the moment when you are on the subway coming home from work and you see someone you know but don’t say hi. It’s not that you dislike them, it’s just this is your time - this is when you ritualistically get on the train here, get off the train there, read this book, listen to this song. You dig into the lonely. It's a daily plan, and it's yours and it's masterful. Granted you’re stuffed into the train car like a sardine and edged between a Greek woman with six plastic grocery bags and a young student whose music is turned up so loud that you can sing along with every song. But you’ve all agreed to travel home, in your own way, and it’s a ritual now.

“I love New York City. The reason I live in New York City is because it’s the loudest city on the planet Earth. It’s so loud I never have to listen to any of the shit that’s going on in my own head. It’s really loud. They literally have guys come with jackhammers and they drill the streets and just leave cones in front of your apartment; you don’t even know why. Garbage men come; they don’t pick up the garbage, they just bang the cans together.” Lewis Black

It’s the moment when you go see a show, or movie, or just wander around a museum by yourself. Yes, those are all beautiful things to share, but every once in awhile - you want to wander or choose all by yourself without asking, is this okay? You want to form opinions without having to own up to them later, not because they’re offensive in any way (although maybe they are), but because they are your pockets of knowing your singular opinion is enough. No outside validation required.

It’s the moment when you go to a restaurant, utterly alone, presumably the loneliest of places to be just one. And you sit and eat, and maybe read, or maybe write, or maybe just savor your food, and something about this feels like a spiritual act. Like you are identifying in every bite that nourishment can come as much from spending time with yourself than it can come from this food.

Again, let me say that I also love sharing these moments with my family, my friends, and my husband. But there is a sort of self-therapy that happens, at least for me, when I venture into the world without the social protection of another person. It’s a little bit dangerous. Not because of who I might meet out there, but who I might meet in here. It’s those moments that my thoughts and feelings bubble to the surface and some serious life choices start to be made.

This article, Alone Together from New York Magazine, gives such a detailed and nuanced look at the way lonely New Yorkers function. It posits that although strong connections (marriages, families) are generally good indicators of overall happiness, the weak connections (communities, strangers, acquaintances) are actually better indicators of safety. That the more alone everyone is, the safer we all are. That loneliness is a sort of, protector.

This pretty much sums it up: 8,366,615

I had to pass through this feeling for a long time before I got to 59th Street. But knowing that complete loneliness was not a special event, that this was a somewhat stock New York experience, carved light into the dark just a little bit. Maybe I seek out reminders of that strange and wonderful rite of passage because I know it's where the good stuff gets revealed. Soon after that day on 59th Street in 2008, I worked with one of the most revered directors in the theatre industry, made more money on a show than I had ever made before, and met the man who would turn out to be my husband. But I knew I didn’t need any of it. It was all just icing on the cake.

What is your favorite alone in New York moment?

FIVER (that's really a 10er): A & C's top 5 astoria hot spots

Hi!  Allie here.

We simply could not write this blog without talking about our collective love affair with Astoria. Courtney and I were roommates once upon a time and thought we were the luckiest girls in the world when we found our cozy two bedroom apartment one block from the subway.  Astoria was a semi-obvious choice for living, what with Manhattan being financially untouchable and Brooklyn being a little to scene-y for me.  Now, given the choice, I wouldn’t live anywhere else! My love affair with Astoria is a full blown committed relationship; my boyfriend, Raven, and I live in a one bedroom apartment near the park with our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Charlie, and we’re stickin'!

I’m simply aghast and always a little annoyed/defensive of my ‘hood when people say “I hate Astoria” or “It’s sooo far!” Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but check out my top 5 favorite spots in Astoria, and tell me you’re not at least a little intrigued. It’s not that far…

1. New York City Bagel & Coffee House

http://nycbch.com

It’s a good thing Court and I moved, because this new-ish coffee shop is right around the corner from our old place, and I most likely would have gone into debt.  Bagels made on site, in every iteration imaginable (think bialy, flat, mini, etc), cream cheese as far as the eye can see in flavors like jalapeno cheddar and cinnamon apple, and locally roasted coffee from Brooklyn. Pair that with free wifi, extremely friendly staff, benches outside, and even a water dish for thirsty Charlie, and you’ve got a recipe for a perfect Saturday morning.  My order? A flat whole wheat bagel with 2 eggs and swiss, and a nonfat coffee frap. BOOM. 

2. The Sparrow Tavern

http://thesparrowtavern.com

Another great spot just down the road from my old apartment, Sparrow is at once a dive bar and farm to table-esque restaurant that Raven and I frequent for their good eats, extensive beer list, and creative cocktails.  Raven likes it because the beef is grass fed, I like it because they have plenty of vegetarian options and the best french fries I think I’ve ever had (that is a BOLD statement, as you will learn that fries are one of my main food groups).  Bonus?  They serve brunch and are right across the street from the Bohemian Hall Beer Garden!

 3. Nook N Crannie

http://www.nookcrannie.com

A quintessential antique shop, Nook N Crannie offers everything from china to jewelry to one of a kind tchotchkes, but where it shines is the furniture pieces: midcentury end tables, apothecary cabinets, enormous armoires, the list goes on. I myself have acquired two small antique mirrors and a pink depression glass fruit bowl, but I'm still kicking myself for letting go of an enormous brass mirror and a cookie jar from the 30’s.  Bonus: all proceeds benefit a non profit organization helping those who are battling addiction.

4. Astoria Park

http://www.nycgovparks.org/parks/AstoriaPark

A suburban transplant, I have always felt refreshed when taking the train back to Astoria after work, watching the city fade into the background, hopping off at my (almost) quiet, residential stop. If ever I’m really craving home, though, I head to Astoria Park. Sure, Manhattanites have Central Park, and I can’t say a bad thing about it, but Astoria Park is wonderful in its own right. Flanked by the East River, with sprawling grass, tall trees, and plenty of space to picnic, it’s like a mini vacation just down the block. Bonus: off leash hours for Charlie before 9am and after 9pm, and access to Astoria Park pool, the biggest in all 5 boroughs, for FREE (summers only, of course).

5. Butterfly Nail Salon

http://www.yelp.com/biz/butterfly-nail-salon-astoria

It is a rite of passage for every New York City girl to have “her” nail place. So it almost seems silly that my place makes my fiver list this week.  Almost.  I love my place because it’s close to my apartment, clean, inexpensive, and bizarrely enough, the owner opened up a second salon literally around the corner, with no plans to shut the first down.  Sound random?  IT IS!  But it’s amazing...the new salon is bigger and has huge, leather pedicure chairs, but if it’s full you just go around the corner to the original!  Bonus: the original offers a mani/pedi for $20 Monday-Thursday.

And now Courtney's rendition of Astoria's best and brightest:

When I first moved to the city, I felt like it was a bummer to move to Queens. Granted, it was also a bummer that I didn’t have limitless cash flow, a puppy, or a lifetime supply of Starbucks, so I was prepared for disappointment.

But then I moved to Queens.

And realized it’s freaking awesome.

I fell in love with Astoria. Quiet tree-lined streets, Greek food, multiple beer gardens: suddenly I felt like I hit the jackpot, and began waiting ever patiently for that nice Starbucks lady to give me the good news. Well she didn’t, but here are my top five favorite spots in Astoria that more than make up for the lack of lifetime Starbucks:

1. Astoria Bookshop

http://www.astoriabookshop.com

This is a brand new installation to the bustling Broadway/31st Avenue sub-neighb. It’s small (though mighty, with a diverse range of books) and independently owned (in fact, it’s the ONLY independently owned bookshop in Astoria). Maybe it’s too soon to tell, but are we getting a little Park Slope-y up in here? I’d suggest going with the intent to browse rather than search, but that said, Astoria Bookshop has a healthy selection of titles, including a hearty children’s section for those with tiny people.

2. Sweet Afton

http://sweetaftonbar.com/ 

Remember when I asked if we were getting Park Slope-y up in here? Well, with Sweet Afton, we are super Slope-y. This rustic, cozy bar reminds me of Brooklyn in the best ways: great outdoor seating, simple, but delicious menu with great Gastro Pub choices, and a killer speciality cocktail list including Gin’n’Juice, a cocktail with equal parts fizzy freshness and old school charm. Did I mention they have live Bluegrass, Folk, and Jazz on Monday nights? Get there.

3. The Strand

http://www.thestrandsmokehouse.com/

Whiskey. Beer. Meat. Live Music. Why would you need anything else? Straightforward and right to the point, this is a recent addition to Broadway and the perfect spot to replace those summer Beer Garden nights out with a big group of friends. All the beers come from within 200 miles and the whiskey pours straight from the barrel. With seat yourself tables and benches inside (and more beautiful outdoor space when the weather is warm), The Strand is an easy go-to option for that annoying and ubiquitous question, “What should we do tonight?”

4. Yoga Agora

http://www.yogaagora.com/

What. A. Great. Place. Situated on the corner of Broadway and 33rd Street, this one room studio packs a majorly positive punch. Right when you walk in, you are greeted warmly, invited into the space and taken care of through the whole class. The thoughtful instructors lead you through an intentional, vigorous, and lovely practice. Oh, and on top of it all - classes are $5. Unless you are taking a donation only class (which just makes me want to pay them even more for their generosity)! Why haven’t you gone here yet? Go! Now!

5. Coffeed

http://www.coffeednyc.com/

One of the coolest spots in Astoria, if not a little far out for most. Coffeed is on the ground level of a huge building on Northern Boulevard and 37th Avenue, a little distant from the bustle of Broadway, but so worth it. And it’s out there for good reason: on the rooftop of the building is A FARM. A FARM. Brooklyn Grange to be exact. My husband and I were taken up there the first time we stopped in, we checked out the view of Manhattan and spied on the farmers harvesting crops. All the food comes down to supply the coffee shop, and the coffee is meticulously crafted by knowledgeable and friendly staff. Not to mention 10% of  beverage sales and 5% of food sales go to local charities. So much for my need of lifetime Starbucks!

Have you been to these places? What do you think? What are some of your favorite spots in Astoria? Comment below and let us know what you think!